mutiny of the body.

ok..ok...ok. really, when I think about it - the way i treat my body, it should've gone on strike a looonnnnngggg time ago. But the title is cute....lol

so anyway, called my Dr, and he says I'm ok - as long as there's no fever, excessive (more than a pad per hour) bleeding, dizziness or nausea. Upped the amount of over-the-counter pain meds I can take (he said 4 Advil/Motrin - who am I to argue =)

So, Day Two back to work - and the bleeding really starts. I'm going through one super long, 4 channel with wings super maxi pad every hour. Literally. And I'm thinking if I begin to bleed even one ounce more per hour - I'm going to need Depends. In a meeting with my boss for 30 minutes - shyt! Listening to him talk, knowing I can't leave - I bleed thru the pad, panties, pantyhose and pants into the $1200 ergonomic designer chair -which fortunately is black mesh so it isn't obvious. I wrap up the meeting, run to the bathroom, handle biz & manage to go back to clean the chair before anyone notices. This sucks.

I feel as if my body is no longer my own - like my life is now controlled by my body's mood swings, willingness to allow me to live, disconnected in a weird way. I'm having an out-of-body experience - like I've slipped out of it & am hovering over it, watching this whole thing play out beneath me.

As I sit & type, I'm wearing what appears to be a wrestling champinship belt - but it consists of pain...around my pelvis, past my side and widening across my lower back. I took 3 Advil 30 minutes ago - they have yet to kick in. Meanwhile, I wait for the next wave of blood, pain, and then relief & normalcy - like a tide. In, out, in out - it comes & goes...

I am SO going to restart taking my birth control pills again this week.